


i can feel my heartbeat

by moriphyte



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 22:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6926821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriphyte/pseuds/moriphyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I was in the front seat, shaking it out<br/>And I was asking if you felt alright<br/>I never want to hear the truth<br/>I want to hear your voice, it sounded fine<br/>My voice, it sounded fine<br/>I could feel my heartbeat taking me down<br/>And for the moment, I would sleep alright<br/>I'm dealing with a selfish fear<br/>To keep me up another restless night<br/>Another restless night”<br/>-Manchester Orchestra- <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qiv-8RFt058">I Can Feel A Hot One</a><br/><br/>Terezi doesn't know where she's going but as long as it's not where she was she doesn't really care</p>
            </blockquote>





	i can feel my heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> I've been listening to She Wants Revenge and watching too much Skins.  
> This is basically the scene where Effy wakes up in the car with Cook after they run away.  
> I don't know the context of this, it's just something to do while I sit in the parking lot in the rain eating pineapple pizza.  
> If you've ever been to a Motel 6 or really any shitty motel you know exactly what their room looks like.

You wake up to blurred, colored lights and a loud, shaking sort of silence  
You peel your cheek from where it's pressed against the cold, dirty car window and sit up, trying to ignore the pounding in your head. You press a hand to your neck and move your head from side to side trying to rid yourself of some of the stiffness that comes from fall asleep in a car.  
You're in the back seat of an unfamiliar car with a jacket laid over you as a blanket and by the smell of smoke you think that it must be Gamzee's.  
You look to the front of the car and see him against the moving lights as you speed down the empty highway.  
Without a word you push the jacket off of your lap and climb over the seats, plopping down in the passenger seat beside him.  
He doesn't look at you, just smiles at the empty road.  
"Who's car is this?" You ask  
He side eyes you and gives a noncommittal shrug  
"Okay, where are we?" You try  
He repeats the gesture  
You sigh, "well then where are we going and I swear to god if you shrug at me I'll kill you"  
He stills and turns to look at you in the dim light of the car and he smiles as he shrugs one more time  
"Fuck you"  
He laughs, "can do"  
You roll your eyes and slump back in the seat with your arms crossed over you're chest, looking back out the window, "that doesn't even make sense."  
He doesn't say anything back to that.  
"Are we at least going somewhere good?" You ask, letting your head lean to rest against the car window and looking out at the blurry lights of the sleeping city.  
"We goin wherever you wanna go, girl" he says  
You don't say anything to that, just chew at your lip and watch the lights.  
"I don't care where we go" you finally say.  
He doesn't say anything and you sit in silence for a while, nothing but the sound of the car on the highway and the glowing lights around you to fill the empty spaces.  
"Where's everyone else?" You ask.  
He pauses before saying, "not here"  
You don't even have the energy to be annoyed, he's right, and besides you don't think that you want to be wherever they are anyway.  
"It's just me an you baby girl" he says, still watching the empty road, "that's the way it's always been, that's the way it's always gonna be, just me an you"  
You hug yourself tighter and look down at your feet in the dirty red sneakers that used to be Vriska's, "yeah"  
At some point after that Gamzee turns on the radio and you lean your head back against the cold car window and close your eyes. Beside you he has his window rolled down and is badly singing the lyrics out into the bight  
You reach into the back of the car and grab the jacket. You pull it over you like a blanket and settle your cheek back against the window.  
You look out the window as you drive, watching the few passing cars and listening to his terrible singing 

"I heard it's cold ooout, but her popsicle meeeltsss  
She's in the bathrooooom, she pleasures herseeelllfff  
Says I'm a bad maaaaaan, she's locking me ouuut  
It's cause of these things, it's cause of these thiiinnngggsss"

You move your lips along to the words, trying to hold back a smile 

"Lets make a fast plan, watch it burn to the ground  
I try to whisper, so no one figures it out  
I'm not a bad man, I'm just overwhelmed  
It's cause of these things, it's cause of these thiiinnngggsss"

When the song ends the radio goes back to a man yelling really fast about a deal on hoagies at the local gas station chain and that strange silence settles again  
After a second he says, "gimme a smoke?"  
"Where are they?" you ask  
"Jacket" he says, nodding towards the jacket laying over your lap.  
You sit up and dig into the deep pockets until your fingers brush something solid and you pull out the pack of cigarettes.  
"Here" you say, prying open the top of the package and pulling out a cigarette.  
You offer it to him and he glances over at you with a grin, "light?"  
You roll your eyes and dig back into the jacket pocket until you find the lighter.  
He takes the cigarette from you and presses it to his lips as you strike the lighter and hold it to the end.  
When it lights you lower the lighter and he pulls away, giving you a grin before taking a puff of smoke and blowing it right in your face  
You cough and wave your hand in front of your face, "what the fuck Gamzee?"  
He just gives you a yellow toothed grin and takes another puff, blowing it out the open window  
By the time he finishes the cigarette it's started to rain and he pulls off the into the parking lot of a Motel 6.  
You grab the jacket pull up the hood of your sweatshirt as he swings into a parking spot and shuts off the car. You climb out of the car and stand out in the rain with your hands shoved in the pocket of your sweatshirt waiting for him to be done digging around inside the car.  
When he's done you've got the jacket on over your sweatshirt and he straightens up, swinging the car door shut.  
You lock the car and hurry inside the front entrance where you stand silently next to him while he talks to the man at the counter.  
You get a room that you have to walk back outside to get to. You take the back way passed the empty pool to your door.  
Inside the room is dark and when you flick on the florescent lights it reveals one bed, a bedside table and a dresser with a tv.  
Everything looks orange and you can hear the lights buzzing above you.  
You kick off your shoes and head to the bathroom as he drops the car keys on the beside table and flops down onto the bed.  
You splash your face with cold water from the faucet and shake your head, trying to tell yourself that everything is okay as you look at your face in the grimy mirror but really you know it isn't, you're just too tired to care right now.  
When you walk back out into the room Gamzee is asleep on the bed, snoring unevenly.  
You walk over and climb under the dirty feeling comforter beside him, curling in on yourself and pulling the comforter up to your nose.  
It smells like dust and lemon pledge.  
As you close your eyes you don't think of where you're going to go or what you're going to do. You don't think about what you're leaving behind, you just think about what he said in the car.  
It's just you and him now and that's always how it's been, always how it's going to be  
Just you and him


End file.
